A Few Questions With Kristoff The Russian of The Optimen

The Optimen

We do the questionnaire exchange again with another member from The Optimen, this time we catch up with Kristoff The Russian (MC).  You can still catch some of the tracks off The Optimen‘s new album The Out Of Money Experience on their MySpace page, alternatively you can grab it from a CD retailer or online via iTunes or Big Pond Music.  Before proceeding i just wanted to touch on something funny I read as a status update on The Optimen’s facebook fan page from an interview with The Dwarf:

TheDwarf: You don’t sound Russian.
Kristoff: Yeah, I wasn’t born there.
TheDwarf: Oh, I was going to ask you about the hip hop scene in Russia.
Kristoff: Oh, you should ask me anyway!
TheDwarf: So… what’s it like.
Kristoff: I’ve got no idea.

Now read on and learn all about Kristoff and his apparent hatred of Danni Minogue.

The Optimen

The Optimen

The General Questionnaire

What is your favorite word?

Schmuck, Schlepp and most words (mainly Yiddish) that begin with ‘sch’ with the notable exception of ‘school’ and ‘Schapelle Corby’. Even Schweppes and Schick are preferred brand names for me. They also make for great clean curse words. Try them on your friends! I think you’ll be bitterly disappointed with the results!

What is your least favorite word?

Herpes… or Capoeira.

What turns you on?

Bookish girls: Thick rimmed glasses, knee socks and facial piercings.

What turns you off?

Sarah Jessica Parker’s horrid facial growth.

What sound or noise do you love?

The sound of Danni Minogue shutting her stupid yap the fuck up.

What sound or noise do you hate?

Same as above but minus the ‘shutting her stupid yap the fuck up’.

What is your favorite curse word?

‘Fiddlesticks!’ Or maybe ‘Primrose Poppinjay!’

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Stunt cock at Lego Land.

What profession would you not like to do?

Stunt cock at Liquor Land

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

If he doesn’t sound like James Earl Jones (or at the very least Morgan Freeman) then he can really just save it. If God is a woman then maybe something like “So… ever dry-humped a deity on a cloud before?”

Musical Specifics

What got you into music?

The same as most people, I guess. Alvin and the Chipmunks ‘A Chipmunk Christmas’ and Run DMC ‘Tougher Than Leather’

Whats your favourite instrument?

Horns/brass. But they’re all important.

Favourite album of all time?

Too many to mention. Gangstarr – Moment of Truth, Dilated Peoples – 20/20, Alkaholiks – Coast II Coast/21 & Over, Wu Tang – 36 Chambers, Slick Rick – ‘The Great Adventures of…’, Nas – Illmatic, of course. Way too many.

Favourite song of all time?

Newcleus – Jam On It, Arthur Baker – Breakers Revenge, Nas – Halftime, Hijack – Style Wars… Way too many to name across many eras, genres, countries and sounds. I listen to more music than almost anyone I know.

Favourite artist of all time?

DJ Premier, Paul Mauriat, Pharoahe Monch… Ronnie Spector (The Ronettes) and The Shangri-Las. Again, way too many.

Like i said before, crazier and crazier every time.